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jamos_fire's Journal

Saturday, June 12, 2010

6:17PM - time to get moving

today has been so strange. it was for us to find closure but for me it just left more questions. what i am sure of is that everything happens for a reason. but as i look to my left and see 2 dear souls that have also passed, shadow and hershey, i realize that she is amongst good spirits wherever she is. and so am i, i love you all and treasure our unique moments together.

Current mood: grateful

Saturday, March 27, 2010

3:12PM - Life

Its a beautiful thing...

Current mood: accomplished

Sunday, February 14, 2010

2:23AM - another one burns out too soon..

ive been on a mad search the last couple of days for the few remaining friends i have yet to locate online. its not sad..its my own personal vh1 where are they now. i found an ex girlfriend who married a friend in a totally different circle which was funny but cool. but then i just found out that josh lemire died on jan 18th of this year. he was a good friend for a time, if you look at life like a tree, our friendship would be a few really good rings. i have missed you brother but knowing we will no longer have the chance of meeting in passing, i am truly saddened. i once was stranded, lost on the streets of new orleans when i ran into him and his wife pushing their new baby. he laughed at my state and we soon moved on. that was 2001 and the last time i spent more than a minute with him. i guess at our age most people dont die peacefully. it just feels like for this little ass town so many have passed sooner than should so violently or even by their own hand.

Current mood: depressed

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

5:31PM - its also a lunar eclipse

December 31 ~ Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse at 11:13 am PST (at 20°14′ Cancer).

Lunar Eclipse on NYE

Lunar Eclipse on NYE


This 2nd Full Moon of December, called a Blue Moon, is also a Lunar Eclipse.

And it’s occurring on New Years Eve! This most significant event will be strongly felt. Spend some time in reflection, considering where you were 10 years ago and where you are now. Are you where you intended? Do you feel you are on your Path living your Life in alignment with your Soul Purpose? These are things to consider now, under the mystical energy of this Lunar Eclipse. There is a strong mix of celestial energies afoot these days.

Current mood: hopeful

3:04PM - once in a blue moon


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

7:18AM - umm...hello?

is this thing on?

Current mood: contemplative

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

5:23PM - ill take WTF for $1000 alex...

WTF!...... http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,532492,00.html?test=latestnews

Current mood: shocked

Monday, June 22, 2009

3:12PM - wow...

it sure is hot outside...at least the pounds are dropping off...

Current mood: hot

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

11:00AM - damn...

i wish my mind would leave me alone for a while

Current mood: contemplative

Thursday, May 21, 2009

2:36PM - hmmm


Current mood: accomplished

Thursday, February 5, 2009

11:12AM - What a rollercoaster ride!

Wow...life...it never ceases to be interesting...or painful. the last year has been all over the map for me. started off getting fired from a job i held for more than a decade. met my 1.5 year old daughter,maya for the first time and became a big part of her life. watched zachary become an awesome big brother that i never knew he had in him. watched my finances and credit disappear or worse. continued a battle with one of the largest companies in the world. had my home life turned upside down several times(good and bad). major depression(several times). prepared for one of my best friends to go off for the war. spent months unemployed. fell in love with a woman, only for her to rip my heart out of my chest and stab it over and over as it still beat(im still sore about this one).theres more but i think ive made my point.
In the midst of all of this chaos, the eyes of the storms, the seas were calm. when i look around at all of the things we have all gone through, it makes me smile. were all still here! we waited it out and didnt give up not matter how much we wanted to. the distance between some of us has grown considerably but no matter how far we get out to sea, if you look around someone was right there. maybe not in plain sight but in shouting distance. maybe not the people who had always been there but someone. sometimes i think we lose sight when were drowning and we panic and forget all weve learned so far. we already learned to swim years before.the seas can get wild for even the strongest of swimmers but were not in the ocean alone.thats why we build boats, so we can travel together without having to work so hard swimming.
As my oldest turns 8 this month i realize that money,jobs,stuff dont mean anything. its those relationships we keep up even though its not easy or convenient but because we know they are priceless. its not the destination we need to focus on but the quality of the journey and our travel companions.
The picture will not be completed until everyone lays their puzzle piece down together. what i learned from all this is that money will come, maybe not as much as you want but it does. friends come and go giving us love and information we need no matter how difficult. we can all love and trust again regardless of our histories. but we cant focus more on the chaos than we do on enjoying each other and the roles we each play in our lives.

Current mood: grateful

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

2:39PM - i hope this is a rumor


2:18PM - so i guess i had a weak moment

today is a better day and im going to larry keel and toni rice on friday in atlanta! long as i dont screw it up or get sicker. ill be ok

Monday, December 15, 2008

1:21PM - enough already

sometimes life just sucks you know. you try to be positive and remain upbeat but shit just gets worse and worse. im trying really hard not to curl up in a ball and disappear. theres so much wrong i dont even want to get into it. can i get a new brain and new thoughts? im tired of the present ones

Current mood: nauseated

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

3:46PM - thats some good weed! even after all these years!


Current mood: tired

Monday, December 1, 2008

3:16PM - been a few weeks since i last posted

lots to update but no time to do it in. but....im having a gathering for the solstice on sun dec 21. it will be kid friendly and probably start around 5 or so since its sunday. it will be a pot luck so bring something to eat and whatever you want to drink. feel free to bring musical instruments.hope everyone gets a chance to come by and visit with old friends.

Current mood: happy

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

6:07PM - hey there peeps!

so i only got a sec but life is so wonderful now i couldnt help but to post something quick.Toni, the woman i met is absolutely amazing. her kids are great. Zach wants her to be my girlfriend so i guess he approves. i started working at schlotzskys again. bye

Friday, October 17, 2008

1:29PM - WOW is all i can say...

i met the most amazing person last night at crossroads. the universe has brought us together at the perfect moment. i have not had a crush this bad or quick since i was in high school and the greatest part is that the feeling is mutual(thank god). we hung outside of xrds for like an hour and a half talking about our kids and this beautiful but sometimes complicated world. we didnt even make it out of the parking lot before texting each other. for the first time in my life i feel like im really ready to date someone without having to worry about how my past will effect it. the energy and knowledge she carries around with her is gigantic. she works in a law office but doesnt fit the profile. she is absolutely beautiful too. i would normally think she was way out of my league but i feel outside forces having a hand in this one. we have soooo much in common its kinda freaky...i feel like a great big cheese ball right now but its unbelievable. i ask her last night if i was dreaming and she said that we had just manifested what we wanted in our hearts and made it happen. zach and i are going to hang out with her and her kids tonight and it cant get here soon enough. to quote her favorite band...aint life grand!

Current mood: grateful

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

10:33AM - dude..sticky for icky? i dont think so


Current mood: amused

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

10:26AM - well here something to be a little happy about...time for things to improve


but what will this mean?

Current mood: contemplative

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